The Next Step

chrismiller@cust.in — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:34:30 GMT

Searching has always been my niche. I like discovering new places, learning new things and meeting new people. It stimulates me. It's what makes my college essays interesting. But I regret not getting attached to anything that I learned or met.

I came to that sad realization when I lost Caroline. She left because I thought I didn't care about her or the homeless children she is passionate about. She never understands the fact that it's in my nature to be accommodating and generous to people, and that I got jaded because some people took for granted of what I did. Or that's what I thought.

I avoided my buddies for many months because I learned to be suspicious of people. It made me critical and judgmental, which Caroline didn't like. She thought it was affecting our relationship. It may changed my outlook, which reflected in my recent college essays, but I told her that it would still be OK as long as she's besides me.

I guess I ignored my needs for a long time. I forgot the fact that I need to be loved as well. So my next step is to seek Caroline and insist that I still have faith in the world - and in her.